So this is the current book I’m reading. Everyone, male or female, should read this book. The author seems to write it perfectly, going back and forth from male to female POV.
Here’s a little sample of what I’ve learned from Chapter 1.
Male Side “Mr Fix-It”
When a women discusses her problems, a male will jump to try and give her a solution to her problem when all a woman really wants is for him to listen. And by listen, I mean listen with compassion. If a female comes home and says ‘Ugh, my boss is such an asshole.’ ‘I’m so tired, today was horrible! You will not believe what happened’ then goes on to explain all the feelings she’s having. She just wants to get them out. A man thinks she’s asking for help with her problems. That a solution is needed. When a man does this, it feels like he doesn’t care about the woman’s feelings. Like he’s not listening. Like he’s cutting her off. All he really needs to do is say a few ‘I’m sorry hun.’ ‘Mmhmm’ ‘I hate to see you so upset. You don’t deserve it. Come, let me give you a hug.’
Female Side “The Homeimprovemnet Committee”
Typical example, a couple is driving to a party and they’ve driven around the same block twice. The women says to the man, “Maybe you should call and get directions.” The man gets silent but is clearly upset with her the rest of the night. This is because the woman has unknowning offended the man. What he heard was ‘You can’t do this. Someone else has to do it for you.’ The woman has all good intentions. She just wants to get to the party, she meant nothing by it. She’s trying to be helpful and nurturing. But in reality, she’s making him feel incompitant.
Now, this topic was covered in an entire chapter going into much more detail about WHY we each feel that way but I believe I summed it up as best I could without actually writing a synopsis like I would for a class or something. As I was reading the chapter, it was like ‘Wow, why didn’t I read this book years ago!’ and ‘Wow! He’s so right! If only men would do that! I would be so happy!’
There’s a reason this books title is a house staple. There’s a reason everyone says ‘You MUST read this book’. There’s a reason women beg there significant others to read it. (Because also stated in the book, is how resistant men are to ’self-help’ type books because again, it’s like saying ‘You can’t figure it out yourself, you need outside help’) Anyway, books are cheap people. Shell out a few bucks and buy it. Borrow it from a friend. Download the audiobook off iTunes. This is a MUST READ for both genders.
